student: hey government can I have some money to go to university

uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man

scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you

us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker.

police: you're under arrest

me: no i'm not

police: shit